I'm conflicted about Memorial Day. And it's complicated. Here's why.
First, the holiday was designed to remember Americans who died in defense of their country and so many of our fellow citizens interpret it wrong every single year.
In a poll by the University of Phoenix, only 43 percent of Americans can define that Memorial Day is a holiday to remember those who died while serving in the armed forces. There is widespread confusion with Veterans Day.
For many the Memorial Day holiday is nothing more than an excuse to head to the lake, the beach, grill out, barbecue and party. It is truly unfortunate that a day dedicated to the nation's defenders in times of great crisis has been perverted by recreation, with zero significance to the original purpose of the holiday. It should be a day about the decoration of the dead, yet merrymaking rules. Treating Memorial Day and it's surrounding weekend as one long kickoff to summer party is an insult to those who gave their lives, and a blow across the bow of true Patriotism and the appreciation of history that teaches the responsibilities of citizenship and the dignity of the United States of America. No disrespect intended to anyone with regard to how they celebrate the holiday. I understand human nature being what it is, we certainly need to allow ourselves to be taken in by the culture of fun and who wouldn't want to take full advantage of a Monday off work to lie down in the green pastures of goofing off?
I don't know why, but I feel different on Memorial Day weekend. Yes my work in music and radio has sometimes taken me to parties but I have never failed to visit cemeteries or at least pause to reflect. And truthfully for that I'm thankful. Because the path my ancestors traversed to bring my family to where it is today is littered with blood on both sides of causes, good and bad, right and wrong. It's a strange dichotomy for sure, but it has helped me arrive at this moment where I still stop, pause and reflect on Memorial Day to remember others, especially those who fought and died in World War I and World II, conflagrations that had to happen to keep the world safe and prosperous.
I've spent many Memorial Days walking through cemeteries and trying to picture in my mind the incredible sacrifice of those who walked thru the valley of the shadow of death, faced their fears, and met their demise far sooner than they would have expected.
I know the holiday was not originally created for my ancestors and that's another reason I'm conflicted. All of my paternal and maternal ancestors were Confederate soldiers who fought against the Union in the American Civil War of 1861-1865. I'm not saying I agree with the southern cause because the war was complicated and there were many reasons why it should have ended up like it did and I'm glad it did, because we remained one nation, united. Abraham Lincoln abolished the abominable practice of slavery once and for all, although it cost him his life when an actor dripping with hate shot Lincoln down in Ford's Theater in April 1865. And even though our country sacrificed a President and stayed united, the unfortunate stain of racism, xenophobia and hatred still ran rampant then and does to this very day. The logical conclusion from this history is that humanity will never see true peace. The insanity of war and the deaths of soldiers in those wars will continue to be our curse born out by our own greed, violent nature and sin. So there must be some civilized remembrance of those who died.
Ultimately what should have happened with the Civil War, did and the country saved itself from itself. Very few of my ancestors were slave owners, and I'm convinced they fought for their own protection from an army that invaded the south(April 12, 1861 was the official start of the war, Fort Sumter was bombarded by Union troops in Charleston SC. ) Many of my family had no choice except to pick up arms to defend their own families and property. It was a time of kill or be killed. And who in their right mind will stand by and watch their homes be burned, pillaged and their families destroyed? The Civil War was brutal, complicated and sad for all involved.
And the story of my family in that time is very messy. The very county that succeeded from the United States first (even before the State of South Carolina) was Chesterfield County, South Carolina, birthplace of many of my maternal ancestors. Chesterfield was a hotbed of succession. Many cemeteries in Chesterfield County South Carolina contain the graves of my Confederate dead ancestors. My direct ancestors were not the leaders who passed the succession act of Chesterfield, which led to the entire state of South Carolina seceding from the Union on December 20th, 1860, but they still lived and worked with those responsible for those acts which changed the course of history. But I surmise many in the county were just a cog in the wheel and once it was rolling it was too late. They either had to join one side or the other of a war or be crushed. Many probably felt trapped or conflicted. Many southern states supplied troops to both sides of the cause because of the conflicted feelings of many.
My Grandfather Russell Johnson
Chesterfield County South Carolina paid the ultimate price in the spring of 1865 when Union General William T. Sherman cut a path of devastation and destruction through the Olde English District of South Carolina and burned Chesterfield to the ground, including it's courthouse with all the records of my family. Sherman held Chesterfield County South Carolina directly responsible for starting the Civil War and he wanted to make sure the citizens there paid dearly for the war they started. Sherman's march was a fatal blow to Chesterfield County. It did not recover well until many years later in the 1880s when economic and agricultural growth took hold once again.
The first nationwide Memorial Day was created by decree on May 30, 1868 by General John A. Logan, a former officer with the Union Army who decided the Union should set aside May 30 as a Decoration Day to visit cemeteries and remember those soldiers who crushed the rebellion in our country just three years earlier. The Civil War had taken the lives of somewhere between 640,000 and 700,000 people, and Logan was looking for a way to bring harmony back. The war had torn the entire country apart at the seams and left a path of devastation in its wake across the entire depth and breadth of the United States, especially the southern states.
But what was the south to do? The entire region was destroyed after the war, families ripped apart, homes and cities burned, and financial ruin everywhere. Reconstruction of the people, buildings, and economy would take a long time. Southerners wanted to remember their dead as well. And they figured that a decoration day for Yankees was about as good to them as a secular song in a church service--worthless.
General Logan's decree of a Memorial Day had been intended for northern soldiers, those who had died defending the Union. That left southerners out in the cold, including my family. In fact, many families in the south felt slighted because their practice was to remember the dead of friends and foes alike. And southerners, then as now, revered their ancestors who had fought in wars. Whether it was the American Revolution, the Indian Wars, The War of 1812, The Seminole War, the Barbary War, The Texas Revolution, The Mexican American War, or any of the other Indian Wars and conflicts that led up to the Civil War in 1861. With Logan's act Southerners feared their sons, husbands, brothers, and relatives would be torn from the pages of history and the dust of their memories scattered to the winds. Southerners did not want the deaths of their beloved to be in vain or forgotten.
Beginning in 1866 and even more so after Logan's act was passed in 1868, many Confederate Memorial Days were set up on different days in either April or May to honor the Confederate dead. In Florida, Confederate Memorial Day is April 26th each year. It differs in other states of the south. In some counties of South Carolina, May 10th is still celebrated as Confederate Memorial Day. However, Logan's creation was the one that stood the test of time and was the genesis of the Holiday we now celebrate at the end of May every year. I have never celebrated a Confederate Memorial Day. I just choose to remember those ancestors of mine always for what they had to endure in making their way in this world. Because I firmly believe the overarching cause of the south was misguided. But I also feel my ancestors were forced to fight either because of a sense of duty or fear. I won't attempt to second guess history because I don't know what they had to deal with and could never fully understand without being there in their shoes. Attempting any other interpretation is wrong because we don't have the benefit of living in that time and place.
From 1868 until 1970 Memorial Day was observed as Decoration Day every year on May 30th. Amazingly after WWI, WWII, Korea, and then Vietnam, the day had still not been declared a holiday in the United States. Finally in 1971 while an undeclared conflict raged white-hot in the jungles of Vietnam, the U.S. government passed a law declaring the last Monday of every May to be a day to remember and mourn the soldiers who died while in the armed forces. It had taken 102 years, but, finally, there would be an official federal holiday to honor all who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.
Even though I am conflicted about its beginnings, Memorial Day to me is still one of the most meaningful holidays outside of Easter and Christmas. Just in the span of my lifetime, it has rightly taken its place of honor as a day of remembrance, of course notwithstanding the casualness with which many citizens give the day.
Fortunately there are many in our country who still hold parades, flag ceremonies and memorials at cemeteries, and in so doing, place the reverence for the holiday where it squarely should be. My prayer this Memorial Day is that those 57 percent of Americans who don't know what Memorial Day really means will open the eyes of their hearts and minds to take time to discover the true meaning of the holiday. Will you help change that statistic? Will you teach your kids what the holiday means? Will you fly the flag? Will you visit a cemetery? Will you take the time to learn about your ancestors who might have died serving their country? It's up to you. Your legacy begins with what you leave behind, your knowledge, your children, your traditions and your commitment to remembering the past is the only way it can be kept alive for the present. Finally, can we be a public of far deeper feeling and thoughtfulness that can keep Memorial Day the way it should be observed? We owe it to the sacrifice of the soldiers who have defended our nation's sovereignty. Freedom isn't free and the defense of our way of life has come at a high cost.
In the words of General Logan, " “Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic"
No matter where you are this Memorial Day, stop, say a prayer of thanks, and remember those who fought tyranny and defended liberty at all costs, and gave the ultimate sacrifice, their lives.
Visit a cemetery, place a flag and consider the sacrifice.
"All Gave Some, Some Gave All"
Dallas Reese
In deepest sympathy and remembrance of those who sacrificed for liberty.